[FEDS] Elections, Erections, and Erotica

Day 5,423, 05:04 • Published in USA USA • by Jenoah Drako


TODAY’S THE DAY!



Congressional Elections, baby. There is no better time to prove the worth of each party. It’s a governmental popularity contest. We all know the horniest bitches always win those.

But why should you vote for these horny bitches and bastards? Well for one, we put out. For that reason alone we should have every vote, but the band kids, glee club, and chess club believe they’re important too.

On a real note though, the Federalist Party is recruit centered. We assign responsibility onto new party members that other parties generally would not, it allows a chance to learn and grow throughout our community.
New faces are often in many different areas of our party’s dynamic but also in the eUS government’s as well.

Most importantly we are Country Centered. The eUS has fallen into some grave times these last few months and our past and potentially current congress members, along with our Proud and Horny President, are moving forward to change that deviancy.

Lastly, we ate the USWP. They were delicious, and made our tummy really full. All of your favorite USWP members are shooting for the stars with the Feds already while still trying to regain their footing with this new party dynamic.

For any new citizens that may be voting today, here’s a step-by-step,

Step 1: Scroll through community and go to elections.
Step 2: Vote for the Federalists because we make your thighs sticky like nobody has before.
Step 3: Lay in bed with your face down in the pillow remembering why you did what you did.
Step 4: Take a shower, with a smile, because it felt good and it wasn’t a mistake.

VOTE FOR FEDS, BABY

Jenoah Drako